Blame it on my ADD
by monkiimax
Summary: He was earlier from what everyone had expected but he was just in time to save his younger brother from himself. Attempt of suicide


**_Title: Blame it on my ADD_**

**_Based on the song: Sail by Awolation. _**

**_Summary:_**_** He was earlier from what everyone had expected but he was just in time to save his younger brother from himself. Attempt of suicide**_

**_Rating: M_**

**_Gender: Angst/Family_**

**_Warnings: Attempt of suicide/Depression_**

**_Chapters: 1_**

* * *

Brandon entered to the Foster´s house and touched his stomach with his left hand. He had to skip his last class of the day because he had thrown up during his P.E. class. That was the last time he let Callie take him for lunch in a new place. The house was empty and silent which didn´t surprised the boy. His biological mom had patrol with his dad and Lina was still at school. Mariana and Callie were going to stay at school for some extracurricular class and Jude was going to spend the afternoon with some friend. As he threw his backpack on the floor he didn´t felt the need to scream his usual _I´m home! _After all there was no one at home to listen to him.

Still thinking about his lunch with Callie he entered to the living room where he found it a complete mess. That was odd, Lina was also careful to leave everything in perfect order before leaving to school. The teenager took a step closer and noticed that those were Jesus´ stuff. He picked up the notebooks and pens from the floor as he tried to figure out why were Jesus´ school things all around the living room. He knew Jesus wasn´t the cleanest people in the house but he tried to always leave his mess inside his room. Brandon sighed as he finished picking up the school articles and started heading upstairs. The last thing he could do was leave them on Jesus bed and let him decide what he wanted to do with them.

He headed to his brother´s room careless figuring out Jesus was probably skating somewhere near the street and he had left his stuff because he was in a hurry to get out. But that made no sense. Jesus should have still been in the school. He frowned as he opened the door, it didn´t make any sense.

He looked up inside the room and felt breathless.

In front of him, standing next to the window, stood a shadow.

Brandon let the books slip from his hands but the shadow of the young boy didn´t move, it seemed he was too focused on what was happening outside the window.

The shadow was holding something large and metallic against this head.

Brandon held his breathe.

The shadow sighed soundly.

The elder one heard the lock of the gun going off.

Jesus closed his eyes slowly and commanded his finger to pull the trigger.

Brandon ran and held Jesus wrist with violence as he twisted it.

Jesus cried in pain.

The gun shot.

Silence.

_This is how an angel cries_  
_I blame it on my own supply_  
_Blame it on my A.D.D. baby_

Jesus was laying on Brandon's bed as he kept crying. His older brother caressed his back as he sang him a lullaby.

"I can´t keep this up." sobbed Jesus with a broken and chocked voice.

"I know." sighed Brandon. Carefully he laid next to his adoptive brother and hugged him tightly. "But you have to."

The gun was on the floor with one bullet less inside it.

"I don´t want to."

The hole on the roof of the room was the evidence of such statement.

"Stop thinking." ordered Brandon with a soft voice. "Stop talking."

Jesus turned around and hid his face inside Brandon´s chest. The older one could see the quick movements of Jesus´ leg and automatically deduced that he had been skipping pills again. He pulled his brother even closer and kissed the back of his neck and then his hair softly.

"I can´t." Jesus really meant it. Hiding his face and being surrounded by someone bigger, someone braver, he felt so weak and powerless. He had almost succeeded. He had planned it for almost 2 weeks. "Lina and Stef hate me now."

Brandon pulled Jesus by the shoulder and made him lay down on his back instead of his side so he was now facing his brother. "That´s not true, they will never hate you."

Jesus close his eyes and two more tears ran down his cheek. "They think I was the one selling the pills on the school."

Brandon frowned. "But you told them you were."

Jesus shook his head and with his hands he cleaned the rest of the tears. "I am not _that _stupid." he mumbled.

"But you were stupid enough to take the guilt on you were the dealer!" snapped Brandon as he realized that Jesus had been covering someone up, the real person that had sold his pills. "You were stupid enough to take the gun and tried to…" He stopped himself realizing that he was running down the run way but it was too late. Jake face totally changed in an instant to a frown and his eyes focused on the roof instead of him.

"I don´t want you here anymore." he said with cold voice. "Get out."

Brandon didn´t move.

"I say get the _fuck _out of my room!" said Jesus making special emphasis on the curse.

Brandon stood immobile.

Jesus sat up on the corner of his bed and lowered his gaze. Brandon followed him with his eyes but didn´t say anything at all. Everything seemed so bizarre for the older one. His little brother had tried to kill himself, with his mother´s gun. Jesus was moving still moving up and down his leg and Brandon could see dots of sweat running down his forehead.

"When was the last time you took your pills?" asked Brandon with soft voice. Jesus raised his shoulders, unwilling to answer. "Jesus answer me." he ordered with a much harder voice. He didn´t mean to be rude or aggressive but it was important for him. Brandon wanted to understand; he needed it.

"Two weeks ago."

The older one stood up with a jump and ran towards his brother. He put his hands on Jesus´ shoulders and shook him with violence.

"Are you crazy? That is dangerous Jesus!" he almost screamed.

Jesus snapped back at him. "I am crazy Brandon! That is why Lena and Stef bought me those pills! That is why I have to visit a freaking psychiatrist every month!"

Brandon slapped Jesus hardly on the cheek as he noticed the boy was talking too quickly and almost without giving any stop to catch his breath. Jesus´ head twisted in a horrible angle and Brandon feared he had hit him too hard. His mother had used that tactic once some years ago when he was screaming at her because of something he couldn´t remember in that moment. His mother had told him it was okay to use it when a person was starting to hyperventilate and it helped to prevent an attack or a state of shock. Brandon wondered if Jesus would react the way he had done in that moment; start crying and break down in front of him.

But Jesus was not him.

_Maybe I should cry for help_  
_Maybe I should kill myself_  
_Blame it on my A.D.D. baby_

Slowly, Jesus raise his head and glared at Brandon. "Hit me again." he whispered.

Brandon opened his eyes widely in shock. "What?"

"Just hit me again!"

"Why?"

Jesus took a deep breath. "What do you care? Just do it!"

Brandon shook his head. Jesus tightened his fists.

"I do care Jesus."

"No you don´t. You have never cared."

Jesus stood up and Brandon mimicked him.

"Stop this." answered Brandon. Jesus frowned.

"Hit me."

"I can´t."

"Why not?"

"Because you are my brother."

"So?"

Jesus closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands. Brandon wondered if Jesus was about to start crying again. He wondered what the hell was happening inside his brother´s head. Why did he think Brandon didn´t cared? Had he done something to make him believe that?

"Jesus." he tried to touch Jesus´ shoulder with his hands but he stopped just inches away from touching him. "I care."

"Why?" asked Jesus with broken voice.

"Because you are my little brother and I love you."

Brandon could feel silent tears run down his cheek and neck until they disappeared inside his shirt.

Jesus nails tensed over his forehead.

Brandon finally rested his hand on Jesus´ shoulders.

Jesus let go a hurt and agonizing scream.

Brandon watched as Jesus started scratching his eyes and he screamed too.

The two boys landed on the floor and the room was filled with incoherent screams and chocked cries.

_Maybe I'm a different breed_  
_Maybe I'm not listening_  
_So blame it on my A.D.D. baby_

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

When Lina entered to Jesus´ room followed by Stef she found the two boys sitting on the farest corner of the room. Brandon was hugging Jesus´ shoulders as the other one kept his eyes focused on nothing. The first thing she noticed was the red marks that covered his younger son face and then she saw the gun. Brandon looked up to his mother and gave them a half smile.

Stef ran to get her gun as Lina stood on the door frame staring at the boys.

Jesus finally realized he was being observed and looked up towards Lina.

"Mom?" he whimpered as he pushed his back further inside the corner.

Stef walked over Jesus and Brandon and touched the younger one´s cheek.

"What happened." she asked Brandon.

"I almost made something stupid." answered Jesus as he looked up to the roof where the hole stood. Three pair of eyes followed his gaze.

Lina was finally able to make her legs move and ran towards the corner with tears running down her eyes.

Stef bit her lip and kept caressing Jesus cheek.

Jesus closed his eyes one more time before bursting out into tears.

Brandon held his brother even tighter.

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_**I hope you liked it! Please send me your reviews and toue opinions**_


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